Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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