i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
