Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
