i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
