I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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