He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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