This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize