I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just gift wrapped bread.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
