Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
only if we run a train.
done.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize