I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
