I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
