me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
