you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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