Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
