I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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