Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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