I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
