I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
