She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
