She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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