She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize