I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
