You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
