Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
