Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
then he tried to convert me to islam
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
