So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
