ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
