Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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