Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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