If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
