her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
