You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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