Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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