I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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