Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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