I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
