Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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