a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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