I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
