Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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