who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
