I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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