your room smells of hookers.
And success
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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