Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
