Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
