I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it glows. i had to have it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize