"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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