I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Rumble strips road head = magical
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize