i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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