After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
