capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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