you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
