I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
