You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
