i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
