hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
