Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
