It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
