Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
