the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize