Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
