I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
