it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
