I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
