ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
