Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
