can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Sponge bath it is.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
