I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
