id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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