I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
